Charlie Mullins OBE

Crazy four-day week is straight from cloud-cuckoo land and only makes sense to lazy workers looking for a free ride

The four day a week crazies have done what they are calling the ‘world’s largest trial’ and they reckon the entire UK should pack in the traditional five-day system and only graft for 32-hours a week. What a load of nonsense!

The only thing I can say about this bunch of lazy sods is at least they’re more honest about their goal than the ‘work from home’ (WFH) crowd who reckon they’re as productive while out shopping, walking the dog or watching their favourite TV show.

But seriously, ‘it’s the same dog, just a different leg’. Both these groups want a better quality of life, but seem to be living in an alternative universe where you can get more back by doing less.

It’s like they think they can rewrite the physics of work - do less, get more. And on our planet, in our solar system, in the Milky Way and in our galaxy, what they are asking for is impossible, without someone, somewhere, footing the bill.

According to the Four-Day Week Pilot Programme, who did the ‘biggest ever trial’, which, by the way, only included just 61 companies out of the UK’s 5.5 million, the way forward for UK PLC is a four-day, 32-hour week.

But if you look at the companies in the trial they’re mostly a rag-tag mix of not for profits and creative agencies that are hardly representative of most hard-working, cash-strapped UK firms.

Take me as an example; I’m a businessman and like many other self-employed and company owners I need to work when I need to work.

Maybe I need my PR woman or the guy who does my marketing on their day off?

Instead of ‘Jane’, who I work with all the time and knows my business, I end up with ‘Gary’, because it's Jane’s day off. That’s no help to me when I need to do an interview or make a key decision.

I want people who work the same as I do and, and hearing that key staff are ‘on a day off’ isn’t helpful to me, and not what I’m paying for! So, guess what? I won’t, and then ‘Gary’ and ‘Jane’ will both be doing less work.

Already we have millions of people in full-time work, but not earning enough to live and needing a top-up from ‘in-work’ benefits, so how is working less hours going to fuel that broken system?

And don’t tell me that those who go onto a four-day week are going to take any less money, of course not!

They all say they’re ‘more productive’ but that’s complete rubbish, just like with the WFH apologists. All you’re going to get is people needing higher benefit subs.

Pay someone the same for 32-hours as they’re getting now for a proper 40-hour week and by anyone’s maths the price for whatever they are doing or making per unit goes up.

We’re supposed to be entering the brave new world of independent Britain taking on the world by negotiating new trade deals. I can’t see it myself at the best of times, but if we price ourselves out of the market before we even get going what chance do we have?

Does anyone think the Chinese, or the Indians are going to tell all their workers to stay home three days a week for the same money? Course they bloody won’t.

Tell you what they are doing though, as they read stories about our four-day week plans - they’re laughing their heads off…all the way to the bank.

ENDS